Sub-Mission
by HazelWitch81
Summary: A sequel to Jerkey Beef finds Bender and the gang going on an underwater-style gold rush.


If any of my fanfics sound similar to my brother's, forgive me. After all, we are family. Got inspired by his influence! I know my brother did a treasure hunt fanfic Sailing A-Weight, but this one is nothing like that. This is my own take on what a Futurama Treasure Hunt would be like. On with it now!

Futurama

Opening Credits Scene:

Never Mind Sons of Tuscon, Here's...

Futurama

Screen: Rocko's Modern Life cartoon

Chapter One:

Two Weeks after the whole Jerky Beef incident, the PE Crew are at the Confrence Room and Hermes is having one of his meetings.

Hermes: Okay, Planet Express profits are...

Just then, Bender runs in.

Bender: Good news, everyone!

Hermes: Bender! How many times do I have to tell you, not to interrupt me when I'm having a meeting?

Bender: Since it's just the four of us here, the Professor put me in charge while he's away on his senior vacation!

Amy: Hermes's meetings are boring!

Leela: I want to hear what Bender has to say! Go on, Bender!

Bender: Remember after that whole Jerky Beef thing when we said we were going to have another adventure, just us four?

Leela: What do you have planned?

Bender: All right, last night I was alone in my apartment watching Dateline NBC 5000.

Amy: Is it one of those 'To Catch a Mad Scientist' shows with Chris Hanson's head?

Bender: Shut up! I'm talking here! So, anyway. Morbo and Stone Phillips's head were reporting on hidden lost gold.

Hermes: Let me guess? It's in Al Capone's vault!

Bender: I wish! Then I learned this hidden lost gold is in an underwater cave somewhere off the cost of Corpus Christie, Texas!

Leela: Anyone want to go help Bender find this so-called 'lost gold'? (curls her fingers)

Amy: I do!

Hermes: I'll go, too. I'm starting to enjoy these missions! But only under one condition...

Bender: I don't do conditions, Hermes!

Hermes: We're not taking the Planet Express ship underwater!

Leela: He's right. It will crash under the pressure, it almost happened to us in Atlanta!

Amy: I got our breathing plugs!

Bender: No problem! I already have something we can use! Get out your suppositories, everyone! In the words of the Sex Pistols, "We're on a Submarine mission for you baby! Sub-Mission! I can't tell you how I feel!"

Chapter Two:

Leela, Bender, Hermes, and Amy are outside the Planet Express building.

Hermes: How are we supposed to travel underwater?

Bender (pulls down a curtain): With this! Ta Da!

It reveals a submarine.

Amy: That looks like a movie prop.

Leela: It is! We can't go underwater with that submarine!

Bender: Oh, Leela! You underestimate me! You'll be surprised with a couple altercations I did! This ain't no ordinary submarine...

Hermes: Is it a war submarine that shoots torpedos?

Bender: Nope. It's the same submarine from that Batman movie with Adam West and Burt Ward! The ones the villains used.

Leela: I remember that movie! Caeser Romaro and Burgess Meredith played the Joker and the Penguin!

Amy: Splah! Frank Gorshin played the Riddler in it.

Bender opens the hatch and throws everyone in.

Bender (picks up Leela): Get in there! (picks up Amy): Get in there! (picks up Hermes): Get in there! (Jumps in and starts driving) Listen up! I'm only going to say this once! If anyone here tries to start a Marlon Brando-style mutiny on me, I'm sending you to Belize! Got it!

Hermes, Leela, and Amy: Yes, Bender!

Bender: Yes, Bender what?

Hermes, Leela, and Amy: Yes, Bender sir!

Bender: Bender sir! I like the sound of that!

The submarine departs in the water and starts headed toward Corpus Christie, Texas.

Chapter Three:

The submarine is going through the Atlantic Ocean headed for the underwater cave. It's taking a long time to get there.

Hermes: Geez, I'm bored! We need something to watch besides these ocean creatures!

Leela: Hermes is right. Need something better to do. Can't we watch a movie or something?

Amy: How much more longer?

Bender: Sure! We'll watch Earthican Dad on DVD

Leela: I actually like that show! It's really fun.

Hermes: Way better than that stupid Nuclear Family Guy!

Amy: Let's watch season 2!

Bender: You got it, chumps! Do NOT diss Nuclear Family Guy! Fry and I watch it every Sunday!

Bender puts on the DVD and Earthican Dad plays

Everyone laughs at the episodes.

Leela: Let's skip the ones we don't like.

The Submarine reached it's destination after 3 hours of watching Earthican Dad on DVD

Amy: Hey, Leela! Francine looks better than you in a mini skirt.

Leela: (sarcastically): Ha! Ha! Ha! Very funny, Amy.

Bender: Okay, chumps! We're here! Everyone out! Hope you brought your suppositories!

Leela: We did.

Everyone puts on their breathing plugs and exits the submarine and finds the cave.

Chapter Four:

Bender, Hermes, Leela, and Amy all enter the cave and commotion ensues about which way to go.

Bender (blowing a whistle): Silence! What I say goes in this mission! I say we split up into 2. Leela, you go with Amy and keep going right. Hermes and I will go left. If any one of us finds this gold, use this blowhorn!

Hermes and Leela are handed blowhorns. Hermes and Bender go left, while Leela and Amy go right.

Hermes: Bender, what if we run into a moldy old corpse?

Bender: Dammit! Why does a cool tough guy like me always end up with a cowardly sidekick?

Hermes: Can you blame me for being a little scared, mon? I've never been in a cave before!

Bender: If you don't toughen up, they'll be a moldy old corpse! (points at Hermes) YOU!

Hermes (laughs): Aww, Bender! You are such a kidder!

Bender: You know, Hermes. That's what I like about you. I know you can help me find this treasure. Why? Because you have constipation!

Hermes (laughs): That is hilarious! I should go on missions with you more often! This is like the time when we were in Mexico!

Bender: That was a blast!

Just then an animatronic that looked like a Mexican zombie dressed like Speedy Gonzoloes comes up to them.

Zombie: BEANS! BEANS! BEANS! MUST...EAT...BEANS! BEANS!

Bender and Hermes: (Screaming)

Hermes: What will we do now, boss?

Bender: I say we make a...RUN FOR THE BOARDER!

Hermes and Bender both run away scared blowing their blowhorns.

-

Chapter Five:

Meanwhile, Leela and Amy are walking along the cave in the direction they were going.

Amy: Want to listen to some mood music?

Leela: Do iPods work underwater?

Amy: Of course! What would you like to listen to? (Gets out her iPod)

Leela: What do you have?

Amy: Let's see I have Britney, Christina, Jessica and Ashlee Simpson, Nicky Minaj, Pussycat Dolls, Beyonce, Ke$ha, and Gwen Stefani!

Leela: That's not music! (shows Amy her iPod): This is music! Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, Bush, Korn, Slipknot, Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, Linkin Park, Sonic Youth, Stone Sour, AFI, Audioslave, Arcade Fire, and System of a Down!

Amy: That music is hateful! At least mine is happy and upbeat!

Leela: I'm surprised those pop starts have been around for the last 1000 years. They should be as forgotten as the people who won American Idol a thousand years ago. Now they're all has been heads in jars!

Just then an animatronic of a knife wielding demon comes up to them!

Demon (in a scratchy voice): I'M GONNA CHOP YOU UP YOU WHORES!

Leela and Amy both run away scared they too blow their blowhorns.

Amy: Why didn't you try to fight it?

Leela: You can't fight animatronics!

-

Chapter Six:

Bender and Hermes come running in from one direction, while Leela and Amy run in direction another. They're all being chased by animatronics. Then they all run into each other and scream.

Bender (screaming at Leela and Amy): Strange Beasts!

Hermes (screaming at Leela and Amy): Monsters!

Leela: You idiots!

Amy: Dumb boys! It's us!

Bender (relieved): Oh, it is. (laughs)

Hermes: We thought you were more monsters.

Leela: You've been around us for so many years, don't you know what we look like?

Bender: Geez, Leela! Take a Midol why don't you...(sees some waterslides): C'mon losers! We're about to become The Goonies!

Hermes: I've never done this before! I hate amusement park rides!

Bender: To quote my favorite movie Crimson Tide, I am the commander of this mission! Down the slides, now!

Amy: Spleesh Bender! Don't have to get all Denzel Washington on us.

Bender, Leela, Hermes, and Amy all go down the waterslides. Then the waterslides lead them into an underground room. The room was full of gold coins. Leela was the first to land until Bender lands on top of her. Then Hermes and Amy follow.

Bender (in a cowboy voice): What in tarnation is that? I reckon that there is gold!

Leela: Gold!

Hermes: Gold!

Amy: Gold!

Everyone: GOLD! (everyone runs to the gold.)

Leela: I'm taking some of this gold to get a better place for my parents!

Hermes: With this gold, we'll be a Fortune 500 Company!

Amy: I'm going to build a new Kappa Kappa Wong building for my sorority sisters!

Bender (imitates game show buzzer): Wrong! This gold is all for me! Bender! With this gold, I'm buying the Hearst Castle, and you guys will be my servants!

Hermes (scraping the gold): I hate to rain in on your parade, Bender. But this is counterfeit!

Leela: Oh, no! (grabbing a coin and scraping it): You're right!

Bender: Dammit! Son of a bitch! My dreams of being rich and powerful, up in smoke again!

Amy: We came here for nothing!

Voices: That's right! We tricked you!

Leela: Who said that?

Voices: We did!

The Voices were two mutated humans who looked like Laurel and Hardy. They're name were Sam and Bund.

Sam: We're mutated aquantic serial killers!

Bund: We conducted this scheme so stupid people like you can fall for it!

Sam: Looks like we succeeded!

Bund: Yeah, yeah! We're cool! We're cool! We also did those animatronics, too!

Bender (enraged): Hey, serial killers! Bite my shiny metal...

Then Sam and Bund turns out the lights. Leela and Bender are knocked out. Hermes and Amy are taken by the serial killers.

Hermes: Let us go! You'll be hearing from my lawyer!

Amy: Leela, Bender! Help! Notify my parents! You guys are dead meat once my Daddy finds out!

-

Chapter Seven:

Leela and Bender were knocked out cold by Sam and Bund. They were both starting to regain consciencness.

Bender: Oh, Leela!

Leela: Oh, Bender!

Bender: Oh, Leela! Kiss me!

Leela: Oh, Bender! I love you!

Bender and Leela kiss and wake up and scream.

Leela and Bender: I'm poisoned!

Then they notice Hermes and Amy are gone.

Leela: Oh, no. The serial killers must've gotten ahold of Hermes and Amy!

Bender: Brilliant deduction, eye-stein! Of course they got kidnapped! They're rich! Criminals are always after rich people! Just ask Bernie Madoff!

Leela: I can track them down on my wrist band, it tracks down career chips. (uses her wristband) They're on the top floor! Come on, we haven't a moment to lose!

Bender: I got a better idea. We need help. A little help from our friends. (points to the fish, sharks, whales, and octopuses.

Leela: You can't talk to them. They won't acknowledge you!

Bender: I can speak languages. I used to speak bumblebee you know. (goes to a window in the cave): HELP! Serial killers have kidnapped our friends! Call the police!

Leela: Stop that! Let's go already. (sees a treasure box) Looks like you get your treasure after all.

Bender: You're right.

Bender opens the box and sees some ninja suits and samari swords inside. Leela and Bender take the swords and put on the ninja suits.

Leela: Let's go save our friends. I know how to use a sword! I saw Kill Bill.

Bender: Big deal, I saw Pineapple Express! Now, we must save Jay Z and Soy Sauce! For now, we must become Japanese!

-

Chapter Eight:

In the top floor of the cave Sam and Bund were holding Hermes and Amy captive. Sam and Bund had a computer that was generating animatronics.

Hermes: I happen to know all serial killers are tormented souls!

Amy: You'll never get away with this! Our friends will save us!

Sam: We're going to kill you all! That's why we set this treasure trap!

Bund: Once we're through with you, we'll dispose of the cyclops and robot!

Sam and Bund both laugh evilly. Then a ninja star is tossed their way.

Bender: Yo, murderers? Why not try pickin' on us instead?

Sam and Bund lunge for Leela and Bender.

Leela: You're both about to become fishhead broth! (swings her sword at Sam and Bund): Hee-ya!

Bender and Leela both fight off Sam and Bund, then Hermes and Amy untie themselves and head for the computer.

Hermes: Amy, let's hack into that computer, do you know how?

Amy: Of course, the Professor taught me!

Hermes: Let's help out Leela and Bender, by breaking down this computer!

Amy: We'll break it down and make sure nobody will ever fall for this trap again!

Hermes and Amy hack into the computer, and Leela and Bender subdue Sam and Bund with their samari swords. Then the cave is about to explode with Sam and Bund inside. Bender, Leela, Hermes, and Amy all run out of the cave. The cave collapsed.

Song: The Spinners, 'I'll Be Around' plays.

Hermes: Sweet commotion of the Pacific Ocean! We made it!

Amy: Another victory and fun adventure for us.

Leela: I was very impressed with the way you both broke free and helped us.

Bender: Yeah. It's good to have some people with actual brains come with us on missions for a change!

Hermes: Ahhh, it was nothing, really.

Amy: We should go on missions more often!

Leela: Of course you should. It's great to have you two on board.

Bender: I agree! You guys are better to go on missions with instead of Fry!

Leela: Fry never would tried to break free to help us.

Bender: He'd be sitting there all tied up, waiting for us to save him.

Hermes (laughs): I know! And he wants to be a superhero!

Amy: Fry is nowhere near being a superhero! He's just an ol' Average Joe!

They all laugh and head back for the submarine. Once the submarine is about to depart, Bender comes out and takes the treasure chest with the samari swords inside.

Leela: Why did you do that, for?

Bender (holding the chest): Just in case.

The submarine departs and goes back to New New York

-

Chapter Nine Conclusion:

Back at Planet Express, Leela, Bender, Hermes, and Amy were all taking about the adventure they had. Just then Fry and Zoidberg walk in.

Fry: We're back everyone!

Zoidberg: Aren't you going to ask where we've been?

Bender: All right, fine. Where have you been?

Leela: Yeah, where did you guys go?

Zoidberg: Fry and I went to Texas and I competed in an Eating Contest!

Fry: Yeah! He won first prize!

Zoidberg: I even beat a Japanese Kid!

Amy: Wow! Congratuations!

Bender: We just came back from Texas ourselves!

Leela: We had an underwater gold rush-style adventure!

Fry: And we missed out on that? And I had to be with Zoidberg?

Hermes: Afraid so! It was actually fun having these adventures without you two messing up! Oh, and did you know I had my own sitcom for a while?

Fry and Zoidberg both run away and cry.

Bender: Zoidberg. We can't live with him, can live without him. What a maroon!

Leela: Hasn't he always been?

THE END

Closing Credits.


End file.
